Do you ever wonder why you’ve thrown yourself under the bus in a situation or sabotaged a relationship that was going really well? You might tell yourself there was something about the circumstances that you didn’t like and so calling it quits seemed like the only choice. However, if this happens often, then chances are you might have a past childhood event that you fully haven’t processed or dealt with. Your inner child is an echo of who you were as a child and it has the outline of all the things that shaped and remained with you from your childhood experiences.
What is your inner child?
From your childhood, everything you surround yourself with is an influence. Each of us comes with our own history; experiences and circumstances that shape the way we look at the world currently. This outlook that we start forming when we’re young has a long-lasting effect on our life as it guides all our decisions and our behaviors to date. Until six years of age, the brain functions at a frequency wave of four to seven cycles per second, a repetitive state that allows us to be strongly affected by things that take place in our lives. “Who you want to be” and “How you want to be” are decisions we learn to make even at that young age, in order to fit in with society.
Your inner child is a culmination of all your thoughts, feelings and experiences as a child that change and modify how you perceive and behave in your adult life. Obviously, you may not have understood or processed some of the situations you found yourself in, but they still play an integral part in how you deal with things. As a child, you didn’t have the ability protection yourself or interpret adult intentions for what they were, so your inner child ends up being wounded. Situations that trigger recollections of traumatic pasts or have a grave impact on you are likely to unleash feelings of anxiety or stress in your life. In adult life, that culminates in anxiety disorders or depression. It is important to recognize this is happening and take steps to begin nurturing your wounded inner child.
Healing your inner child
We often get so busy in our lives that we forget to take a step back, reflect inwards and address the needs of our inner child. Here are a few powerful tips on how you can hold space and heal your inner child.
Write a letter to your inner child to revisit your painful childhood memories or trauma.
As you are writing this letter, reassure your inner child that you are now older, wiser and more capable and that you will always be there for them and provide them with what they need so that they no longer feel this void. As you write the letter you will make space for yourself to access your inner child wholeheartedly. Through writing, different memories may begin to resurface. You may have more than one inner child and you may come to this realization as you write your letter. Writing and journaling helps you organize your feelings and thoughts in a manner like no other. Judith Ruskay Rabinor, a clinical psychologist, says that telling and writing your life story can help you clarify and gain a clearer picture about yourself, your identity and your emotions.
Connect with your inner child through visualization and intention
Close your eyes and envision your inner child as if they were right in front of you. Let all the feelings, emotions and thoughts rise up to the surface. There may be feelings of worthlessness, shame, guilt, hurt, fear, etc, but let them be for what they actually are. Evaluate why you feel this way about that particular situation. Understand the nuances associated with these emotions. Then go on and repeat the following statements to your Inner Child:
- I am sorry
- Please forgive me
- I love you
- Thank you for the lessons and the learning
These statements will help you connect and gain the trust of your inner child.
Book a session with a hypnotherapist to help you address any deeper wounds that you may be carrying
In order to properly release these unwanted feelings, you will need to communicate to them that this is a safe space for expression and healing. This may take time but it is a very important part of the therapeutic releasing process. In case you’re having trouble bringing these emotions and suppressed feelings to the surface, there are other methods gaining access to your inner child. Hypnotherapy is one way to access your subconscious mind and to overcome the feelings of anxiety and fear you are experiencing. During hypnotherapy, you are induced into a trance-like state of relaxation, where your subconscious mind is more accessible. This is a good avenue to explore your Inner Child and your childhood trauma.
The facilitator will guide you through a powerful neutral and safe process to revisit all the painful and traumatic memories about any difficult situations you may have gone through as a child. You will probably be able to see and gauge them for what they actually were and not for what you believe they were, once you decide to look at them through your adult mind. Hypnotherapy is a practice that helps to unleash many unhelpful, anxious and depressive feelings which makes it a must-try course for everyone.
- Visit Illuminations Well-being Center in Dubai or Abu Dhabi for a range of hypnotherapy courses and sessions to learn how we can help heal your inner child wounds
Soniyaa Kiran Punjabi is the Dubai-based founder of Illuminations, a premiere wellbeing platform launched in 2006. She is a holistic coach, hypnotherapist and wellness consultant who is passionate about everything to do with self care, personal growth and wellbeing.